Everyone clear the pool

Yesterday I came across some disturbing news. I was informed that Adult Swim time at pools wasn't all about me. I was shocked to learn this! Ever since I stepped foot into a pool, I had looked with envy at the older people who were able to remain in the pool when the lifeguards blew their whistles and yelled "Adult Swim!" while those of us that were sub-adult had to vacate quickly or feel the wrath of the whistle-toting lifeguards. We weren't even allowed to put our feet in the water! All we could do was look with longing at the adults who slowly paddled their way in the suddenly calm waters. I dreamed of the day when the whistle would blow and I would remain in the pool while those around me would have to leave. I dreamed of the day it would be MY turn to bask in the glory of Adult Swim time, when that whistle was not meant for me! To be that old! Forget voting, smoking, purchasing alcohol, buying lottery tickets or real estate, I looked forward to the day I qualified for Adult Swim! And then that day arrived and what a glorious day it was!

Well, yesterday, in a discussion with my boss, he informed me that Adult Swim was designed to give the lifeguards a break, not about rewarding ME for my age. He also said that at his pool, they allow kids younger than 3 in the pool during Adult Swim, which I think completely defeats the purpose. At my pools, the Adult Swim age was strictly enforced, none of that "under three" business.

Anyways, I think I'll still hold on to the belief that Adult Swim time is all about me, and try to forget that it's really for the lifeguards. Ignorance really IS bliss...

V is for Vendetta

My cell phone is trying to kill me. Don't worry, this isn't a "cell phones cause cancer" infomertial - no, that method isn't good enough for my phone...takes too much time...too passive. My phone is taking more pro-active measures to do me in.

I was fast asleep when my alarm on my cell phone rang this morning. It sits on the desk next to my bed, so I grabbed it and turned it off. Instead of putting it back on the desk, I laid it on my bed and unsuspectingly went back to sleep. Every 7 minutes I would get a reminder that I needed to wake up and every seven minutes, I turned it back off again, since I didn't need to be up quite yet (believe me, I've got it timed to perfection). It rings once again and I knew this time I had to get up. I tried to roll over but found that I couldn't. In my half-awakeness, I became very confused. Thinking maybe I was tangled up in my sheet, I tried to move forward, in an attempt to see what was holding me back, but that didn't work either. Becoming more awake now, I realized that something was on my neck. I reached for it and found my cell phone cord (it was charging) wrapped around my neck. How it got there, I have no idea, but I am convinced that my phone has a personal vendetta against me. Maybe I dropped it one too many times, or maybe it was tired of being ignored morning after morning. Who knows. I unwrapped the cord and warily eyed my phone, which was lying there rather innocently.

Sleep will come uneasily for awhile, knowing that my phone is lying on my desk, plotting its next attack.

Sticking it to The Man

And a happy Mediocre Thursday to everyone!

I actually get the day off tomorrow, which makes me happy. And since today is technically Friday, by default that means it's Casual Friday.

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I have decided to dedicate this post to one of my neighbors who lives behind me. Sadly, I don't know his name nor have I met him, but I would love to shake his hand and maybe give him a hug. While this was constructed a year or so ago, I've been pondering it recently, and decided to give him a small shout-out. We live in a neighborhood that unfortunately is governed by an Association, which drives me crazy. There's a rule that you can't park cars on the street, which I find obnoxious, and when we all lived at home, we had four cars, four different schedules, and that meant a car on the street. So we would get annonymous letters that had the Rules in them with the "no cars on street" circled. We always got a good giggle out of those. Well, our neighbor always kept his mower and yard stuff out in the yard and I guess that was a Neighborhood Association faux pas. So they got on him and said he had to put that stuff in some sort of building. Here's the best part - literally overnight he constructed this hugacious barn (I kid you not) in his backyard. Dude, that thing was raised faster than the Amish could do it. It really is huge, actually taller than his house and those around it.

Well, the neighbors around him frowned upon that and tried to appeal to the Association to get it torn down, but they had to conceede that they DID tell him to build something to put his stuff in, and I bet all his stuff is neatly piled into one corner of the barn. There was nothing they could do!! It's the classic "stick it to the man" maneuver and I absolutly applaude him. I want to meet him and shake his hand for winning a small battle against The Man.

It makes me proud to be an American.