"Guess who's back...back again..."

Ah! Salaam and good evening (or afternoon as the case may be) to you, worthiest of friends...(that's for you, Finn)! So I've been at home and away from McD's and stuff. It ruled. A lot. I have many exciting adventures to share now. Hmm....where should I start? I did decide to break up my stories into separate posts, because the thought of reading one long blog makes me sleepy. It's kinda like when people send really long emails. I open the email, see how long it is and decide that if it's really important, I'll hear about it in person. So I close it and "save it for another time."

Anyways. I'll start with Christmas shopping. I am the classic last-minute shopper, although this year, I was done the day before Christmas Eve. First of all, I am not a shopping kind of girl. If I'm in the right mood, it's fine, but I get distracted easily. I decided to hop the state line and go to Oak Park Mall (yes, I ventured into JOHNSON county on my own free will). I could've sworn I walked into Dillards, but it must have been Nordstroms because the prices were WAAAYYY above my level. I saw a fun skirt and for giggles, looked and the price, and very maturely exclaimed (out loud) "Are you SERIOUS?!" I got a sideways glance from one of the employees, so I smiled politely and walked away. I realized this was not my store and left quickly. But have you ever noticed that they always put the perfume section of death right by the entrance/exit? I despise going through there because all the perfume people stand, armed with a sample bottle, ready to spray any unsuspecting customer with a fragrance that you might like at first, but will end up hating by the end of the day because it lingers. I find the best way to avoid unneccesary spraying is to avoid all eye contact and push through, keeping your eye on the prize. (Saddu would totally understand my tactics here) I took a deep breath and plunged through. Much to my dismay, there weren't a lot of people to help distract and the white-coated perfumers were poised and ready. I had to do some manuvering. I decided to go straight through, but faked them out with a quick dart to the left around a display. I saw a woman in white step slightly forward, but I did the "oh man, I'm so late, look at my watch" manuver and avoided her. Half-way through now. My next manuever was golden. I targeted the classic family (dad, mom, stoller, young child) and joined them from the rear, pretending I was with them. It worked beautifully! The woman was enticed to stop, which brought our entourage to a halt. I almost lost my momentum there, because I was so focused on the exit that I almost ran into dad. But I jerked to a stop, did I slight spin, and freedom was mine!